- Yuckaflutz: This word could be heard often when I was young and mom was driving. It wasn't until I was in my teens that I figured out what it meant. "Fucking Yutz" . Yep, I use it and always will.
- Temper tantrums: My mom could throw some great ones, making the door slam like no one else I've ever heard or seen since. Yes, I've slammed some doors in my life. And yes, I have thrown a temper tantrum. But I have learnt that in the moment it may feel good, but the aftermath isn't pretty. I have learnt that temper tantrums are meant to be used by children, and that is all.
- Dork: As I became a college student and a wife, I learnt that "dork" is a term of endearment for me and my mom. When we're out shopping, you'll likely hear one of us call the other "dork" and/or "Loser girl". We can be silly with each other. I wish it had been that way when I was a teenager.
- Family: When you are a mom, it is forever. My mom has come home to take care of me for 95% of my surgeries. She didn't hesitate to come home to WI to be with my brother in the last weeks of his life. She is a mother and will be forever. That means her children are always her priority. I am the same way though I don't have children. I am repaying her kindness and service, by being here when she needs me.
- Strength: My mother has lost a baby due to miscarriage, a son to cancer and a son to circumstances. She has minimal contact with her own siblings for numerous reasons. But she carries those losses with strength. She misses her sons, baby and siblings, but she keeps living. No parent should have to bury a child and my mom has lost two. She is strong in her opinions, her convictions and her love for me and my father. I see that I have her strength, to handle whatever comes my way.
- Forgiveness: My mom has not been a perfect mother. She has been cruel and abusive. I have learnt to forgive her for myself and for her sake. She hasn't asked for forgiveness as she is unable to see what she's done wrong. But that's okay. I know she did the best she could with her own history and that's all I need to know. She does love me, even if it's not a perfect relationship. Forgiveness wasn't easy, but it has made me a better woman and human.
- Spunk: I have my mother's spunk. I can give as could I can take. I am sarcastic and sassy, much like she used to be. I can diffuse a tense situation with laughter. I know laughter is really the best medicine.
- Fight for what you believe in: I am not afraid to say what I think or feel. This I learnt from my mom- she never held her tongue when it mattered. She fought for me in high school when a dumbass teacher tried to fail me for no reason, she fought to get my brother Tony diagnosed with dyslexia, and she fought for the students she taught. I fight for what is right; for her, for me, for those who need me to fight for them.
- Beauty is on the inside: My mom taught me at an early age to look for the beauty in every person. I don't see the scars on a face, I see the heart within. True beauty lasts, looks will fade over time.
- Fortitude: Things don't always go the way we want them. My mother has dementia and hates it. But she tries to not let it rule her. As time goes on that will be harder and harder. She didn't give up on Tony when the doctors told us to take him off the life support- she knew it wasn't his time. I do not give up even though there are many times I thought it would be best to. I know that if its hard, I can handle it. I will survive!
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
I am who I am because of my MOM
I saw another blogger's post and it made me really think about what I've learnt from my mom.
These are just some of the things my mother taught me. I have strength, grace and a heart full of love. Go ahead and blame my mom…. I don't. She helped make me the woman I am. I am not perfect- I don't want to be. I do my best every day and that's all I can ask of myself.
Kudos to all the mom's out there doing their best for their children. Don't let others tell you you're doing it wrong, they aren't you and they don't walk in your shoes. Only you can know what's best for you and your children.
Dedicated to: DeBie Hive, hugs and love to you